BLIND FOLD

you knew a girl dressed in black

and you tried to put her in white

and you tried to put her in glasses

but it was all too big.

because a rough one did it

with lead in his eyes.

approaching you shaky

hesitant hand

I said, 

new love?

I don't know how.

there's nothing to know. all you need is a pair of open eyes.

oh, look! I gave you those.

the last time I gave myself in love --

I lost myself, 

and I lost you.

am I him?

no.

is that even possible with us?

no, Lord.

new love.

true love.

you know that wasn't true.

this feels unreal.

trust.

how?

if you could see --

oh, how I love you --

I know, I think --

I'm so sorry.

may I ask you to help me see?

I still feel the cotton dress.

glaring fluorescents were my only lights

and hot blue sky sliced with jetstreams

and a single lamplight at one in the morning.

still feel the rough on my thighs,

that vinyl carpet.

heavy climbing up the mountain,

my chest felt like an anvil

hammering heart, begging you to refine me

surely it was me

oh, you saved me.

for to find myself across the valley

on the banks of the colorado

folded into the blinding white

of frozen ocean waves

I couldn't take it all in.

this air now felt free.

I lay as a limp cloth on the chairs

wrung out but still tasting sea salt

this mountain water was clean.

I heard the woman roar

slamming the ceiling that heaven was colliding with right now

my collapse was a collision

and I see them now,

lying by the stained glass windows

but they walked over to my row with my eyes closed

I see that they covered me with hands

I see them lifting me into family.

I touched love.

it feels like kelsey's palm all the way through my hair

it feels like robbie's fingers on my temples and jaw

and you saved me.

I'd been dreaming of a home

something you'd recognize

I couldn't find it on my own

but found that fighting is collapsing.

under the blood, it's all rosy.

you saved me.