MIXED SIGNALS

sleepy lavender saltwater.

hairs float in the medical bath

a grayish feel within plastic curtains

the sauna life is not for me.

sweat it out.

lungs feel heavier as breath seeps through my skin,

into the steam -

i emerge with a sweaty headache

due to the black things that have entered my heart.

hatred. rage. vengeance.

my stomach reels

and i might just come up swinging.

i hate you.

i hate you ;

half-praying to a God i hope is half real.

a crush at the crown of my head

LATER SONG OF LOVE

how should i leave this place?

should i leave this place?

evening, my new favorite time with you.

evening, the beginning of the jewish day.

and the glittering crystals that catch sunrise

and the melting mist rising from the mountains' feet

and the whispering powder skidding in my wake

my favorite sound

and the scent of jasmine at night

god my father

teach me who you are

show me,

show me who you are.