MIXED SIGNALS

sleepy lavender saltwater.

hairs float in the medical bath

a grayish feel within plastic curtains

the sauna life is not for me.


sweat it out.

lungs feel heavier as breath seeps through my skin,

into the steam -

i emerge with a sweaty headache

due to the black things that have entered my heart.


hatred. rage. vengeance.

my stomach reels

and i might just come up swinging.


i hate you.

i hate you ;


half-praying to a God i hope is half real.


a crush at the crown of my head

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