OCEAN FOR THREE YEARS

Ocean for Three Years

You called me to the ocean and it nearly drowned me.

You called me to the mountains and the ocean froze. It crept up to the icy county roads weaving in between summits, then it crystallized and you slowed down time, just for me, just for us. We took a long time to look at it.

You called me back to Dallas as spring turned to summer, and the ocean thawed out. Not into water, but into waves of flowers. Bluebells.

It’s my very favorite thing to drive through the heart of the city at night, to feel the towers anciently tall on either side of me, silent but screaming. The city is going to be offered a crown, this much she knows. But she’s up each night tossing and turning, thinking about whether or not she’ll accept it.

And you take me there, down the highways, coasting through a moment, past glass office lobbies looking down with a golden glow, past stadiums and monuments, past all of the brand names on buildings reaching, grasping, gasping.

And I think about how well we already know this city, my fiancé and me. I can find my way home from Arlington. Will we know other cities this way? Will we drive a highway like this through miles and miles of skyscrapers in New York? Will we always call Dallas our home?

A veil is about to be lifted from my city and my spirit. I know who I am. I stand on the overpass, watching the planes land, knowing.

My husband and I, we will take our stand. You breathed life into me and you’re so good at leading me. You provide for my every need.

---

my favorite things.

in a lamplit coffee shop under the gray blanket of sky. friendly baristas and a new cover of my favorite song. children knocking.

playing with my new ring.

i took a nap on the stage in the park. i took a nap on harwood street. i sleep not because I'm lost, but because i'm found.

you're with me as we wade through the water, through the flowers. thigh high.

my husband and i hold hands as we walk through the mall tonight.

i love the people who walk in here with demons on their shoulders. i feel your holiness between my shoulder blades. i feel you loving me, loving them.

science is suffocating, revealing its infection and laid bare by the light.

i trim my wick and wait.