full of nothing

I 

I wonder who I am

I wander is who I am

I must sing

and I have no one to sing to but you

so I sing to you


I miss you

you make me feel like myself

so who am I without you?


and you say you'll never leave

but what is this in-between?

you say you feel it with me

so why aren't you collapsing on the floor in half-faith conversation and wrestling the pillow at night and praying without ceasing and praying under your breath and laboring to even breathe and barely containing your fists and pouring miserable tears like ocean tides

like I am?


is it so wrong to want you?

to at least want to know you.

to want your true righteousness.


familiarity is my enemy

like I've been here my whole life

they don't like it when I sing

and of course, here's the jarod

I know that voice, that smile

it makes me hate the question

who am I?


a tapestry of memories

absently woven together

I miss you.

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